The loss of a child changes you forever… It changes how you see yourself, how you feel about yourself, and your priorities. It changes your very life.
You find yourself in a place you never expected to be. In a long dark tunnel, trapped in a never-ending nightmare…always wondering “What went wrong?
To know that your child did this to you on purpose, that they removed themselves from your life to punish you for not being perfect, just adds an extra dimension of pain and suffering. And you begin to wonder if they enjoy seeing you suffer?
It is like a death, but with death you can think that it was fate, whether it was an illness, or an accident. However, with estrangement the message is “You’re not good enough for me to want to spend time with you, and therefore you’re not good enough to know your own Grandchildren.”
So not only do you lose your child & your Grandchildren, but you also lose your inner confidence in the world that always believed in “Blood is thicker than water” and “Love conquers all”.
Why? Because your love wasn’t good enough to create a lasting bond? Your love wasn’t enough to reach beyond error to deserve forgiveness? Your love wasn’t enough to create the kind of people that stick by you when “The going gets tough”.
Worry then comes into your life. Worry that maybe you’re not good enough to be loved, and that you are unlovable. Worry that maybe you really aren’t as good of a person as you thought you were.
With rejection, fear is also allowed in the door; fear that you really aren’t good enough. Fear that your best was flawed in some way.
Rejection destroys your self-confidence, right down to the very core of “Who you are”.
Rejection is the most evil and wicked of all weapons. For it leaves the body alive, but destroys the soul, the spirit, and sends your emotions into a tailspin. It leaves the victim battling for survival. Each day becomes a battle to re-establish self-worth.
Every day starts with willing yourself just to get out of bed, to take another step, and you do it alone. Because the people who are supposed to be there for you when your spirit is broken, “your family“, are the very ones that broke you in the first place.
*Please note* The YouTube video & photos used in this post are mine. Also, some of the words are my own, but most are quotes from the blog article entitled “Estrangement” by Renate Dundys Marrello
To Read more of Renate Dundys Marrello’s blog CLICK on the link below: